Hank Howls For Bones 2


It is probably no surprise to you that publishers pick titles that they think will help sell books.  In fact, since titles can’t be copyrighted, it is common to see several novels by  different authors with the exact same title.  For example, if someone mentions the book Twilight, most people would think of Stephanie Meyer’s novel.  However, Meg Cabot, Elie Wiesel and Cate Tiernan have also written books with the same title.  There are at least 13 novels bearing the title Betrayal

As if this weren’t enough, book sellers use the same strategy with words.  One of these “magic” words is bones.  Are you ready to see a brief list of novels with bones in the title?  I hope so because here it comes.

Let’s start with author Kathy Reichs. SJCPL currently has six of her novels with the word bones in the title and another one coming out in August:


206 Bones*

Bare Bones

Bones are Forever

Bones to Ashes

Break no Bones

Cross Bones

Other bone novels include:

Cage of Bones by Tania Carver

Salvage the Bones By Jesmyn Ward

The Bone People by Keri Hulme

Winter’s Bone* by Daniel Woodrell

The Bone Collector* by Jeffrey Deaver

The Lovely Bones* by Alice Sebold

Bag of Bones by Stephen King

Blood, Bones and Butter by Gabrielle Hamilton

* I have read and enjoyed these novels.




5. A Glitch

After an enthusiastic recommendation from my wife, I began listening to the audiobook version of Frank McCourt’s Teacher Man. “I love it, but his writing style is so disjointed,” I complained. “He refers to characters I don’t know and introduces them a half hour later.” My wife was as confused as I was, but I soldiered on, disoriented by the jumpy story line. It wasn’t until the end of the book that my dilemma was explained—I had set the iPod to Shuffle. — Norm Sunshine

1. Twitter Addiction

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …” — Christine Schrum

7. The Right Diagnosis

A man tells his doctor that he’s incapable of doing all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination is over, he says, “Okay, Doctor. In plain English—what’s wrong with me?” “Well, in plain English,” says the doctor, “you’re just lazy.” The man nods. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”

9. Water

My friend was working at an amusement park when a couple stopped him. “Excuse me,” said the woman, pointing to a pond. “What is that water made out of?” Bemused, my friend replied, “Two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen.” “See?” she said to her boyfriend. “I told you it wasn’t real.” — Amelia Wines

12. First Draft

I didn’t enlist in the Army — I was drafted. So I wasn’t going to make life easy for anyone. During my physical, the doctor asked softly, “Can you read the letters on the wall?” “What letters?” I answered slyly. “Good,” said the doctor. “You passed the hearing test.” –Robert Duprey

14. A Quiet Group

I was diagnosed with antisocial behavior disorder, so I joined a support group. We never meet. — – Comic Craig Sharf






Funny Lines

How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do people in Australia call the rest of the world ‘up over’?
Does that screwdriver really belong to Phillip?
Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
Does killing time damage eternity?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Why is the third hand on a clock called a second hand?
Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?
Day light savings time – why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
Do pilots take crash-courses?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4′s”?
Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
How can there be self-help “groups”?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing “Happy Birthday?”
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?
If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs?
If cats and dogs didn’t have fur would we still pet them?
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If you can’t drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?
Why do they call it ‘chili’ if it’s hot?
Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game,” when we are already there?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Author: hank

I am married with two daughters and one grandchild. After teaching in the inner city of South Bend, IN for many years, I now work at the St. Joseph County Public Library. I started keeping track of the books I read when I was sixteen years old, and now have read over 1700 books with a page count of more than 500,000.

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