Hank Howls For Triangles

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When I was in fifth grade I joined the band at Jefferson Junior High School.  My instrument of choice was the drums.  There were four other members in the drum section.  Two eighth graders played the snare drums, while a seventh grader thumped on the bass drum and a sixth grader crashed the cymbals.  The self-appointed leader of the group, an eighth grader named George, handed me a triangle and told me to sit in the corner and stay out of the way.

Finally, the day of the concert came.  We played three or four songs, but for some reason only the last song had a triangle part in it.  It’s hard to believe that so many composers write songs without any triangle part.

The band was set up on a stage with the drum section way over to the side behind the drawn curtains.  I peeked out and saw my parents sitting near the front.  The last song was entitled American Heritage and the triangle part was essentially a solo, as the only other instrumentation at that point was some softly playing woodwinds.  The pressure was on! I stood alertly, waiting for my big moment, the triangle dangling from my left hand, the wand held tightly in my right.  Drops of sweat rolled down my hand onto the wand.  I thought of the disgrace my parents would face if I bungled my part which was obviously the most important part of our grand finale.  At last my time came.  Confidently, I struck the triangle the required eight times with just the right rhythm, and the audience, led by my parents, gave me a standing ovation.

Actually, nobody seemed to care at all.  A triangle player gets little respect in the world of junior high concert music.  Sadly, that was the high light of my musical career.

This little remembrance serves as a lead-in to the theme of my latest book suggestions – triangles.  These triangles usually play sour notes, as they are lover’s triangles.

Water for Elephants*  by Sara Gruen     In this historical novel, Jacob runs away and joins the circus.  His boss, August, abuses the animals and the people of the circus, including his wife, Marlena.  Needless to say, Jacob and Marlena fall for each other.  Although, this brief description does not make the novel sound lighthearted, there is, in fact, a good amount of humor in it.

 A Home at the End of the World by Michael Cunningham     This triangle is different than most in that it involves a gay man, a bisexual man and a straight woman.  Bobby and Clare become lovers and have a baby, but Jonathon still has feelings for Bobby.  The four of them move to a house in the country where they bend the traditional definition of a family.  Author, Michael Cunningham, won a Pulitzer Prize for his novel The Hours.

The Stephanie Plum Series*  by Janet Evanovich     So far there are nineteen novels about the very inept but hilarious bounty hunter, Stephanie Plum.  Among the many amusing characters Evanovich has created are two men that are both hot for Stephanie.  Detective Morelli and the mysterious Ranger take turns rescuing Stephanie from one disaster after another.

Lady Chatterley’s Lover*  by D. H. Lawrence     In this classic, (yes, I sneaked one classic into the list) there is a double triangle.  Lady Chatterley’s new husband goes off to war and returns without the whole package, if you get my drift.  As if that isn’t enough, he strikes up a relationship with his attending nurse and largely ignores Lady Chatterley, who responds by flirting with the new gamekeeper.  It doesn’t take too long before Lady Chatterley is pregnant and that is not all.  The gamekeeper’s old wife shows up, and the double triangle hits the fan.

Big Girls do Cry  by Carl Weber     Egypt and Rashid are happily living in the suburbs with only one thing bothering them.  Failing in their effort to start a family, the couple discover that Egypt is barren.  Meanwhile Egypt’s sister, Isis, moves in with them.  After having bad luck with a surrogate, a new idea arises.  Maybe, Isis could help by getting pregnant with Rashid.  Is that a good idea?  Especially since Rashid and Isis dated before Egypt and Rashid married.

Love the One You’re With by Emily Griffin     Beware the old flame.  Ellen is happily married to her husband Leo, but when she runs into her troubled ex-boyfriend, she starts getting dangerous “what if” thoughts.  Is she living the life she was meant to live?  Ellen can’t stop thinking about her past experiences with Leo which Griffin shows us with flashbacks.

The Manti Te’o, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, Lennay Kekua Triangle     Okay, this one hasn’t been written yet, but you can be sure that it will be.

* I have read and enjoyed these books.


From http://www.bored.com/crazywarnings/

Product warnings of questionable value.

Liquid Plummer  (no relation to Rona)
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Little Ones Baby Lotion
Keep away from children

Directions: Tear open packet and use.

Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam.

Do not use while taking a shower.

Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness

Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor
Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.
Church Parking Lot Sign
Thou shalt not park

Children’s Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

Slush Puppy Cup
This ice may be cold

Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.

Packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

Infant’s bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.


Author: hank

I am married with two daughters and one grandchild. After teaching in the inner city of South Bend, IN for many years, I now work at the St. Joseph County Public Library. I started keeping track of the books I read when I was sixteen years old, and now have read over 1700 books with a page count of more than 500,000.

One Comment

  1. Great post Hank! Many laughs and good titles!

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