Even the Emmys.
The Emmys – while better than The Grammys – are far behind the big three (The Tonys, The Oscars, and the Golden Globes) and even slightly behind the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards. (Who doesn’t love seeing people get slimed?)
So last night I was all set to not watch the Emmys. In fact, the Emmys were a distant fifth on my list o’ things to do. I could watch my beloved Cincinnati Reds – freshly crowned National League Central winners – on ESPN. I could read the new Michael Chabon book. I could continue my impressive binge of Community watching.* Heck, I could even take care of the pesky mold problem in the basement.
* Is there anything better than falling in love with a television show that’s been out for a few years and then watching every single episode of the show as quickly as you can? Oh, that’s right, there is – when your favorite baseball team clinches a division title. I should add that while this Community binge is impressive, it pales compared to the epic 2011 Doctor Who binge or even the blistering Justified binge earlier this year. And don’t get me started on the historic Alias binge of 2004.
But, try as I might, I was sucked in. (Plus the Reds game was blacked out because several deities don’t like me.) I flipped on to ABC just to catch a quick update and before I knew it I was laying down odds on what would win best reality program. The thing about awards shows is that you know they’re bad for you. They’re the three-scoop hot fudge sundae of television. But here’s the thing, if someone puts a three-scoop hot fudge sundae in front of you, you’re going to eat it. In fact, you’re going to eat all of it and lick the bowl clean. You can’t help yourself. And then, about fifteen seconds after you’ve gnawed that last glop of fudge off of your plastic spoon, you start feeling really, really ill. Your face is sticky. Your shirt is stained. And you have, what I like to call, the ice-cream sweats. You’d give anything to go back in time and not eat that ice-cream sundae but you also know that if you did go back in time you’d totally eat that ice cream sundae again. You’re only human.
So I watched The Emmy’s. I laughed a few times. (Well…”few” is a bit of an exaggeration.) There were winners (Modern Family,Homeland). There were losers (Mad Men was 0 for 17!). There were one or two good acceptance speeches. (The Amy Poehler / Julia Louis-Dreyfuss bit was the highlight of the night.) And in the end, I wished I could go back and do something else with the last three hours of my life. But I also know that I would just watch The Emmys again. Because I always do. Because I’m a sucker.
But there is some good news!
We are in a golden age of television and the vast majority of the shows that won or were nominated are available on DVD at the world’s greatest library. Don’t believe me? Click on any of the show names to check on their availability:
Homeland (Best Drama, Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Writing)
Modern Family (Best Comedy, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Directing)
Breaking Bad (Best Supporting Actor for a Drama)
Boardwalk Empire (Best Directing for a Drama)
Hatfields & McCoys (Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor in a Miniseries)
Downton Abbey (Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series)
American Horror Story (Best Supporting Actress in a Miniseries)
Louie (Best Writing for a Comedy)
Some of them I love (Sherlock, Parks, Louie). Some of them I’ve never seen (Homeland, Hatfields & McCoys, Breaking Bad). But my goal for two of the last three months in 2012 is to catch up on all the shows so I can make a definitive top five list for the year. (Why only two of the three months? I’ll be busy in October watching playoff baseball.) Who needs The Emmys?
You do the same and we’ll meet back here in the beginning of 2013. Until then, any recommendations? Advice? Pie recipes?